Wednesday, March 28, 2007

"Hey, Why Do I Have to be the Poop Checker?"

One of my favorite movies is Ice Age. Manny the large, ornery mammoth and Sid the Sloth take this human infant and try to reunite it with its family. On the way of course the kid is crying and they surmise the kid may have filled his shorts. Manny looks to Sid and says,

"You, check for poo."

Sid contests, "Hey, why do I have to be the poop checker?"

To which Manny responds,

"Because bringing the kid along was your idea in the first place. Because you're small and insignificant. And because if you don't I'LL PUMMEL YOU!"

And it's times like these where I think society needs a little more of the stern, fatherly Manny type approach to disciplining children and people and a little less coaxing and motherly/bribing approach.

Why do I say this? Well it seems some teenagers in Britain went and protested at parliament because they weren't getting enough funds for after school activities and other such things.

Their rationale was that if the government just gave them some money for these after school programs and support programs then these children wouldn't get in trouble with the law, start fights and would behave etc.

Thus, I asked myself, SINCE WHEN DO WE START BRIBING PEOPLE TO BEHAVE!!!!!?????

That's called blackmail. "Pay me or I will do something to you that is dislikable. Pay me or else!"

What happened to the days when kids would behave because of the merits of behaving? What happened to the days of understanding that you follow the law and do not break out into fights because society would otherwise degrade and collapse and it would be a reenactment of "Lord of the Flies?" And above all, what happened to the days where parents would instill morals and merits upon their children via discipline????

Alas, that is where the problem probably lies; the parents. I have to keep reminding myself whilst I'm not ready for marriage or children, my generation is currently the highest volume producers of them. And knowing the quality and caliber of Gen X (here or in Britain) it should be no surprise that my generation's offspring is just as screwed up as we were if not, worse.

Furthermore, this attitude that "we are entitled to money and funds for just behaving like normal, responsible kids" can only be the product of a severe dearth of fatherly upbringing.

Notice I didn't say "fathers." I meant "fatherly upbrining." As in spanking. As in yelling. As in Manny pummelling Sid.

As in, "Just you wait! When your father gets home...."

And then the insufferable agony of waiting until your dad came home to righteously pummel you, where that was worse than the punishment to the point you'd contemplate running away.
Not this, "well, it's time for a time out."

Or, "that's it, you are docked 3 behavior points. No Sponge Bob Square Pants for you."

Or you idiotic parents trying to reason with a 3 year old child with your euphemistically name "30 something adult logic."

I want Bill Cosby, full out, "LET THE BEATINGS BEGIN!"

That's what I'm talking about.

Of course, that is taboo in today's society (and a reason why I shy away from having kids). Some idiot congresswoman in California just tried to make it illegal to spank your children. France was kicking around the idea. The goal effectively relegating parents to only positive reinforcement methods to discipline their children.

Some say, "positive reinforcement methods" I call it "bribery." And as an economist I know discipline is cheaper than bribery.

However, that may be the key to this push (predominantly from the left) to abandon discipline and replace it with bribery. I always said, in my years substitute teaching in the public schools, that if I was allowed to discipline the kids, I could handle a class room of 100 students, by myself, and they'd learn and score better than any other class in the school district. But well behaved students don't bring in special education money.

Well behaved children, don't bring in the money for counselors and therapists and consultants that account for the plurarlity of the education budget. Well behaved children don't bring in the extra funds for behavioral modification classes. Additionally well behaved people in general require less and less government spending be it less money spent on the court system, less money spent on the police or less money spent on rehab/prisons or the bevy of other government programs to deal with the problem makers of society.

And that seems to be the enemy; well behaved people. In an insanely cynical pining I wonder if that isn't the goal of the left. To get an entire generation of irresponsible misfits into the population so that there is such chaos and tomfoolery, that it provides them the political rationale to provide trillions upon trillions of dollars in social spending to deal with the problems and , oh, how about that?, provide them with life long employment in the social services sector.

Of course the true victims of this inanity and the refusal to discipline our children will be those poor kids pictured above, living in La La Land thinking they should get paid for just staying out of trouble. Sadly for these youth, without the harsh Manny pummellings, something tells me they'll inevitably all have careers as poop-checkers.

13 comments:

Mahan said...

Britain is in Europe (much though an ever-shrinking number of Britons want to dispute this fact).

Europe is becoming rapidly Islamicized.

Since the West apparently will not save itself in the form of Enlightenment values, I can only predict that the teenaged girls pictured wearing *finger quotes* "hoodies" will see their offspring, subsidized by a guilty British welfare state, wear another black garment before their deaths, and then their concerns about after-school activities will be solved, believe me.

That isn't cynicism, that's realism coupled with the study of history.

Anonymous said...

I met someone from California who, when I had been discussing corporal punishment, asked in a startled manner if people really still engaged in such measures of discipline. I'm from Texas, and I replied that we most definitely still partake in corporal punishment. In my high school, not so many years ago, the principal was still allowed to bust your posterior with a wooden paddle if you got out of line. If I so much as smarted off after having gotten into trouble, growing up, I couldn't count to one before hearing the sound of that leather belt coming out of the loops on my dad’s jeans. But, note, I don't begrudge my parents for it, and I don't have a criminal record.

The problem today is most definitely irresponsible parents who don't deserve children and who dump them off on the taxpayer. This is a crime against both the child and the taxpayer.

Frank said...

Maybe the British Govt. can give each kid an xbox instead - that'll keep 'em outa trouble!

If you ever need any advice on some effective methods of punishment, check this out - http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

Captain Capitalism said...

X-Box has prevented more murders and brought more young men together in friendship and comradery than any government or after school program ever has.

Anonymous said...

On a similar note, one of my favorite lines is from Firefly. Mal is sending Jaine in to "get some answers" from an Alliance agent. Mal tells Jaine to "just scare him". Jaine holds up a huge knife and says "Pain is scary".

Paul E. Zimmerman, M.A. said...

Forgot money or Xbox's to keep these kids out of trouble, since that only addresses symptoms and not causes.

Rather, we need to get the generation that birthed them hooked on World of Warcraft. Behold:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eq3J2lILdY

And thus shall Western civilization be saved!

Alexander Scott said...

Clearly the Left has an interest in fostering dysfunction. Just consider the stereotypical voter for each party...
-Every man, woman, and child who escapes poverty for the middle class is probably a vote lost forever.
-Any man or woman who starts a successful business is a vote lost forever.
-Any man, woman, or child incapable of making every-day, responsible decisions ("shall I pay for my asthma inhaler copay or a pack of smokes") is a vote for life (assuming someone will drag them into the voting booth)
-Any man, woman, or child who needs a therapist to feel good about themselves is a vote for life.

What amazes me is that the Left even pretends to care about the welfare of its constituents when it is so clear that if any of them ever became self-reliant, financially successful, and well-balanced their votes would dry up in a heartbeat.

The Kilted Maniac said...

As this whole debate about the propriety of abusing children by physical discipline is going on, the national consciousness is
ignoring many other forms of child abuse.


1.Child bathing

As we all know, parents who opt to bathe their children are sexual
perverts. What else could they be? They physically handle their naked
children. Of course there are side benefits (e.g. the child being
cleaned, protecting child and others from disease, etc) but these pale
against the more immediate dangers that the child faces while in the
hands of his/her abusers (i.e. parents). There is only one solution to
this escalating farce that has been shielding itself under the
umbrella of public health; state-approved government-funded
after-school eunuch-staffed touchless child-washing centres.
Socially-conscious and responsible parents can drop their children off
after work and have them cleaned by government-certified professionals, thereby
promoting cleanliness and, more importantly, removing the temptation
from parents to sexually abuse their child by traditional and
incorrect 'cleansing' methods.


2. Inoculations, First Aid, and other forms of 'good' physical pain

As everyone knows, all forms of physical pain are bad. Therefore,
inoculations are bad. Dislodging food that a child is choking on is
bad. Going to the dentist is really bad. With this in mind, we, as
parents, should not make any choices that will result in the
experience of physical pain
for our child. Even though our child, by the time he/she is 18 years
old, might have:
No teeth
Polio
A respiratory disorder caused by a lodged kernal of popcorn

children are free agents and should have the right to choose for
themselves. As a person of wisdom once said, "Brief physical pain
caused by a loved one with good intentions is worse than a lifetime of
death and deformity."


3. Physical Discipline, Time-outs, and other disciplinary measures
that produce confused children

As we all know children who are physically disciplined grow up to be
violent offenders. Children incorrectly deduce from their parents' use
of violence towards them that violence is a suitable social response
on all occasions. It is inevitable that children who are physically
disciplined will mature accepting this conclusion. This is because all
children grow up to be stupid, possessing no faculties of discernment
whatsoever. With this in mind, consider time-outs. Time-outs might
lead to undesirable behaviour by the child in his/her later years. A
parent's systematic campaign of incarceration (like other parents'
campaigns of physical violence) will cause the child to think that
robbing one of one's freedom of mobility is a suitable response to all
personal social dilemmas. I have read reports where an unfortunate
child's remains are found locked in a school utility closet. In these
cases the victim was locked up by a friend whose parents used the
time-out method of discipline. "He needed a time-out." the confused
child would argue. This reasoning is typical in all similar cases.

In all situations regarding the rearing of children therefore,
we should strive to judge actions while completely ignoring context,
extenuating circumstance, and
historical precedence. If the proverbial baby happens to hit a tree as
he/she is thrown out with the bath water, at least we can rest assured
that he/she would have never suffered at the hands of his/her parents.

Shakespeare's Fool said...

You seem to be unaware that there are teachers who get excellent results without corporal punishment. As for example:
http://www.amazon.com/Marva-Collins-Way-Updated/dp/B000NJMMRM/ref=sr_1_2/002-5712307-1167235?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175219279&sr=8-2

http://tinyurl.com/2dm5h9

Anonymous said...

I don't think physical discipline is always necessary, as long as the parents use SOME form of discipline. My parents never hit me, they always gave me time outs or grounded me, things like that, and I never got into too much trouble, and very rarely even lied to them. On the other hand though, my sister-in-law almost never uses ANY type of discipline on my niece, and she is one of the most spoiled, worst behaved children I have ever seen, calling her parents a**holes to their faces, never listening to them, etc. I considered saying to my sister-in-law "If you doesn't listen to you now, when she is 11, what makes you think she will when she is 14 or 15?" (By the way, she failed spring semester this year, with the only consequence being she has to take summer school.) However, my husband suggested that in the interest of not creating conflict in the family I not say anything. But I'll be presently surprised if my niece shapes up well enough to graduate from high school (especially without getting pregnant first.) I have to agree though, that lax parenting is often to blame for kids bad behavior.

Junam

Neo Conservative said...

*
The bigger issue is... it isn't just British parents who are afflicted with this disease...

Prime Minister Tony Blair reacted to the latest round of Iranian "kabuki theatre" by stating...

"I really don't know why the Iranian regime keep doing this. All it does is enhance people's sense of disgust at captured personnel being paraded and manipulated in this way.

Uh, Tony... ask yourself, "What would Maggie Thatcher do?

Maybe, just maybe... somebody here deserves a good old-fashioned spanking.

*

The_Bad said...

I would personally like to thank Shakespeare’s Fool for the enlightenment. Being that I am to be a father for the first time in a few short months, it’s good to be aware of the material you have indicated, however irrelevant to the topic it might be...

Marva Collins talks about using the Socratic Method to teach. I’m not quite sure what this has to do with the price of tea in China, let alone the specific subject of utilizing corporal punishment, but okay. Swell.

Let’s just run under the assumption that you have found proof-positive that someone has a proven method to get excellent results without the use of corporal punishment. You seem to suggest that is reason alone to institute it regardless of proof-positive of other like methods failing miserably.

So, under your line of rationale, wouldn’t successful methods utilizing corporal punishment also require immediate application?

Perhaps what makes more sense is: I’ll swat my kid’s butt if I like. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s all part of that “free country” thing.

Sebastos Robert said...

You don't have to publish this comment.

I just looked back in horror at this post of yours. I mean, it's your whole stance on freedom and individualism! You love the plight of children!

Perhaps this comment might be of interest to you too, because, well isn't it about time you delete this turd of a post?