Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Or Your Could Just Buy a Motorcycle

Financial advice is hard to give nowadays. Until the budget gets balanced and economic growth is enough to outpace population growth, I have a hard time finding something to recommend to people beyond hedging items such as "gold, silver, bullets, booze, foreign ETF's, and stable countries' currencies."

But there is one investment, especially for young men, I am STRONGLY recommending.

Motorcycles.

Men, listen to me. You can go ahead and look on them there interwebz and read all about different prohibitively cars that have great mileage and worry about how the price of gas eats into your disposable income, or you can just buy a motorcycle. The compelling reason is NOT the money you'd save on gas, though that is certainly a factor. the compelling reason is the money you'd save on courting.

Gas, if you look at personal expenditures, is actually not that large of an expense. It usually is less than rent and even less than what you spend on booze, cigarettes and other vices. But if you employ your motorcycle correctly you can save a TON in....

courting.

Look, women LOVE motorcycles. Even the ones that don't claim to, once you throw them on the back, they LOVE motorcycles. You don't have to take them to fancy dinners, overpriced movies, trips to Cancun. You just say, "hey, get on" and off you go.

Better than that even is the money you save not having to go and search for a nice young lady to court. When you get a motorcycle, you don't go to the "clubs" or "discotecs" or "parties." You simply show up where the object of your affection is on a regular basis with your motorcycle jacket and helmet. And when you have built a repoire with the young lady you simply say, "Hey, want to go for a ride?"

It's almost, if not easier than asking a girl to ballroom dance. It is the perfect in.

Of course, motorcycles are not just for the young man. They are also for the young lady. Owning and driving a motorcycle immediately puts you in a higher regard amongst most males. Sure it may be a bit tom-boyish, but no man in the history of men ever said, "Oh, no! She has a motorcycle! That sucks! I'm never dating her!" Additionally, your ownership of a motorcycle also saves you the unnecessary time, money and expense of going out "clubbing" and buying the latest in night-club-wear. Put on some good jeans, some bootsy-boots, and BAM! You'll have plenty o' men pining for your affection and better gas mileage to boot!

So youth, for those of you looking to invest, but you plain just don't believe your 401k will be there. Or you just plain don't have the money to afford investing, then invest in a motorcycle. It will pay itself back VERY quickly and make your love life all that much easier.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

the trouble with motorcycles is that they are dangerous, which is probably why women like them. Get hurt on a motorcycle, and you will quickly find out that the only thing more expensive than the divorce industry with their family courts, $300/hr lawyers, and child support orders, is the medical industrial complex.

I suppose the odds of a motorcycle crash are relatively low, but the consequences are severe. Bust a knee or a shoulder, and dancing at a night club becomes much more difficult.

Anonymous said...

I'm with anonymous, all that courting ain't worth my life on what experienced ER nurses of my acquaintance call donor-cycles.

But hey, if it works for you, have fun.

Anonymous said...

It aint the motorcycle thats dangerous, its the fscking idiots in cars that will kill you.

CBMTTek said...

Used to agree with folks like Anon, and Anon, but soon realized that life is too short, and no one survives it alive.

Spent the first 40 plus years of my life being afraid to do anything that could result in injury.

Sure, I am in one piece. But, I am in one piece wishing I had ridden a motorcycle for at least part of that 40+ years.

And, all the folks I know that do ride, they all recognize that it is the A-holes that ride like they are bulletproof that end up in the hospitals most often. Sure, there are cars/trucks that will run into you without warning, but that is the rarity, and a careful rider will look our for those situations and take action to minimize the likelihood of a collisions.

MarkyMark said...

To the two anons,

Sex is dangerous too (especially when one considers all the diseases chicks are carrying nowadays), but that doesn't stop people from doing it, does it?

MarkyMark

Paul Chappell said...

Well, I got my bike for the gas mileage and the parking on Campus here... My old 81 Silverwing gets me 50+ MPG, so just a bit better than the Ford Ranger's 18-20 or so... That and it is a heck of a lot easier to fix my own bike...

Ken said...

Take a Beginning Rider Course and learn to ride properly. They say "loud pipes save lives." Imagine if you actually learned to ride the thing.

Hot Sam said...

Motorcycles aren't dangerous.

Some motorcyclists are dangerous to themselves.

Most cagers are dangerous.

Pedestrians and bicyclists are dangerous.

If every automobile driver were REQUIRED to get a motorcycle license, they'd be a lot more careful on the road.

Bicyclists should be forced to pass a riding test, written test, and carry liability insurance.

I was never afraid of riding my motorcycle until I got to California. The drivers here are reckless by their very nature. Stopping at stop signs, using turn signals, and looking where they are going are apparently optional.

Riding a motorcycle in the Midwest was like a dream. The only thing you had to worry about was too many bugs on your visor.

Ryan Fuller said...

I would kill myself with a motorcycle.

Captain Capitalism said...

The Ole Captain Shall Speak,

Motorcycles, if rode CORRECTLY are marginally more risky than cars. It REALLY is the other people you have to look out for. So you drive defensively you ALWAYS LOOK AHEAD AND RUN SCENARIOS assuming people don't see you.

The largest risks (bar other people) are;

1. Riding in bad weather.
2. Not looking at the condition of the road ahead (like oil slicks, bumps, cracks in concrete, GRAVEL, etc).
3. Having your bike in poor maintenance.
4. Riding at the wrong time of day when little (and big) critters like to come out and play on the road.
5. NOT WEARING APPROPRIATE PROTECTIVE GEAR.

You account for these things and you'll lower your risks to an acceptable level that riding a motorcycle is a net positive to your life.

Cpt.

MadPiper said...

I courted my wife on a motorcycle. And married her to get my first car.

Nothing makes you feel more alive and in the moment than a motorcycle

S. Harvey said...

I have a motorcycle my wife has a motorcycle.

I've crashed my motorcycle at highway speeds, wearing the proper gear I walked away. I also know far to many people killed on motorcycles, but then again I also know far to many people killed in cars. Its an elevated risk, but not so drastically elevated that one should avoid it.

The stress reduction by getting out and going for a ride probably reduces my likelihood of a heart-attack or stroke just as much as riding increase my chance of sudden deceleration syndrome.

Bike Bubba said...

As an avid bicyclist, it seems to me that the biggest threats anyone on two wheels faces is their own actions. While there are people who are wonderful, and people who are horrible, on either vehicle, the big challenge I have in teaching my kids to ride is to get them to pay attention to what's going on around them. Do that--and avoid being on the road at bar closing time--and you're going to find that life is pretty safe.

And there's nothing like the joy of the breeze in one's face.

Anonymous said...

Well, to each their own poison.

Motorbikes, while not intrinsically dangerous are vastly less forgiving of user error than cars. And since Motobike vs X. is almost never in the bike riders favour I think I'd prefer to spend the bike money on a better car.

Added to the weather limitations, rain etc... ( where I live you have about 6 months you can ride without freezing something off) doesn't seem efficient to me.

But then, I drive a sedate 15yo station wagon that I'm pretty sure actually repelled most young women. So what do I know?

Captain, I do have a point here, does perhaps being a motorcycle owner/driver attract the wrong type of woman (not all, but on average).

e.g. A thrill seeking girl who likes the bad boy image of bike rider, might be great fun to date, but might also not be "long term" material.

Just saying. What's yer goal here?

EarlW said...

What's a 'repoire' ?

Come to Quebec and we can work on your rapport avec les belles femmes.

Anonymous said...

All I know is that I've never ridden a motorcycle and my body is already beat to hell.

I missed out on a lot - might as well get one while I still can.