Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Mixed Cocktail Linkage

Whiskey.  When I drink whiskey I get probably more confused than when consuming any other drink.  Just like I don't understand why academians are against Israel.  Are they deemed too militant?  They just hate the Western world, of which Israel is part of?  Or is it just something to protest against and avoid a real job?

Vodka.  I drink vodka to gain clarity and avoid a hangover.  Even though they linked to me, the reason I'm putting this up here is Roberto did some excellent research as to the return on investment for a law degree.  Anybody contemplating law should have a belt of vodka and read this.

Tequila.  Nothing good ever comes from drinking tequila.  Just like reading the NYT.

Rumpleminze.  It's so good you forget about your problems.  Matter of fact, you forget to do a lot of things.  Like honoring that date you promised that girl.  Don't worry, flaking out only increases your chances with girls.  So make sure to drink some Rumpie beforehand.

Red Wine.  No good deed goes unpunished, and though, you think drinking red wine is good for your healthy, it will leave you with a NASTY headache.  Just like trying to undelude people who are brainwashed AND FOR THEIR BENEFIT.  Don't drink red wine, just bang your head against the wall and save yourself a couple bucks.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It might be useful to think of wine as a food, and drink it as part of a meal. Limiting it to meals is a good way to limit your dosage to something that won't punish you.

Drink it for the buzz, and you learn a lesson.

Mike James

Anonymous said...

I have heard it is the additives that give the headache (I don't remember the name of the particular additive but it is very common). If you make your own, you don't get these problems.

Anonymous said...

Bah! You have a weak brain! After the first half of a bottle of whiskey, a great peace and total lucidity descends upon me. Then I am fit for serious thought and deliberation.

Vodka? A tricky drink. White Russians have been the bane of many a college student. They go down like mother's milk - and, shortly thereafter, come back up.

Drink vodka the Russian way - take a bite of a snack (a zakuska), then slug your (iced, neat) vodka back. Then take another snack. If the vodka is properly chilled, it will go down easily. Soon the world will be filled with a rosy glow.

Tequila? Strictly for masochists. As is the NYT.

Rumpleminze? WHY?!?!?

Red wine? A most unfortunate attitude. Steak tastes best with red wine (red wine by itself is an unnecessary challenge). And of course, port is based on red wine. Heros drink port.

BTW if you think red table wine will give you a headache, if you aren't up to port it will give you enough of a headache to make you want to jump out of a building.

That improves the gene pool.

Ping Jockey said...

To 'newrebeluniv': I think that 'sulfites' are the additive that you are thinking of; they're used a lot and are pretty common.

The only time that I've gotten a headache from wine is when I was in the Navy on deployment over in the Med -- some of the ships' Special Services tours I was on in Spain and Italy also included a restaurant meal, and the restaurant sometimes had a bottle of their table wine as part of the meal. Being a wine lover, I would eagerly drank it up in the course of the meal, and sometimes I had the most god-awful headache later on. I heard later via the grapevine (no pun intended) that some local vintners would 'stretch' their wine supply by mixing it with cheaper wines and/or formaldehyde!

Cogitans Iuvenis said...

Scotch is my drink of choice when I like to think and mull things over. I drink mine on the rocks and the gradual smoothness that results from the melting ice mickmess my thought process going questioning to clarity as I mull over whatever I happen to be thinking about.